The Rituals/Ceremonies

These are the rituals performed in brief:

For wedding dates & location information, click here.

On 7th of November 2009

Janavasam (Maaplai Azhaipu)
Nischithartham (Betrothal)

On 8th of November 2009

Vratham (Prayer)
Paalikai (Watering Seed)
Kasi Yathra (Travel to Kasi)
Maalai Maathal (Exchange of garlands)
Oonjal (Swing)
Pani Grahanam (Holding the hand)
Kanya Daanam (Gifting of the girl)
Mangalya Dhaaranam (Tieing sacred thread)
Saptha padhi (Seven steps)
Ammi Midhikkal (On the grindstone)
Nalangu (Wedding games)
Viewing Arundathi Star

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Paalikai

A couple of days prior to the marriage the bride's family performs ‘The Paalikai’. According to this ritual clay pots are decorated with sandal paste and kum kum powder, filled with little curd and nine types of grains and watered by 5-7 married ladies from both sides. After the marriage, on the next day, these pots with now sprouted grains are thrown into a nearby pond by the newly wed couple. It is believed that the fish in the water will eat the sprouted grains and bless the newly wed.

The wedding rituals start off on 7th November 2009 with Janavasam.

Date: 7th November 2009

Janavasam/Maapillai Azhaippu

For this the groom is seated in a floral-decorated motor car and the procession makes its way towards the temple and back to the Marriage Hall. The marriage is usually conducted in bride's hometown/place, so this function is used as announcing to all village people on who is the groom. 

Nischithartham/Bethrothal

This is the engagement ceremony.

Here ends the first day proceedings. Then on 2nd Day,

Date: 8th November 2009

Vrutham

The wedding rituals start off on 7th November 2009 with Vrutham. This ritual is performed for seeking blessings from Ancestors and God for the wedding. The bride's side does the rites for bride's side of the family while the groom side conducts its own prayers. Both the prayers happen side by side. This may be also conducted in bride's/grooms houses.

Paradeshi Kolam/Kasi Yathra

Kasi Yathra refers to an age-old Brahmin ritual where the groom "decides" to take up 'sanyaasam' (i.e. asceticism, monkhood) for spiritual pursuit. He would ultimately be 'convinced' by the bride's father to return and take up "grahastham" or family life and that the bride will assist in his subsequent spiritual pursuit. The uncle's of bride will persuade the groom back.

In the modern times, this ritual signifies the groom running away from his responsibilities; and the elders force this responsibility to make the young groom remember that run-away from any responsibility is easy but to embrace and live with it is what is required out of him.

Oonjal (Swing) and Maalai Maathal (Exchange of Garlands)

The bride and groom will be made to sit in the Oonjal (Swing), and Oonjal songs will be sung by the relatives.Uncles of bride and groom help the bride and groom figure out the exchange of garlands. 

The garlands will be exchanged by the bride and groom (Maalai maathal). There are two garlands that they exchange this way. 

The process of Maalai Maathal may be complicated by the groom's side carrying the groom and the bride's side cayring the bride and each side making it difficult for the other side to correctly place the garland. The bride and groom will be offerred paal (milk) and pazham (banana) as a sweetner.

Kanyaka Daanam (Gifting of the girl)

The girl's father is made to sit on a sack of hay which symbolizes material and spiritual plentitude in the marriage. The girl is seated on father's lap (this tradition rooted in times when girls were married at their tender age). The bride's father gives away the bride to the groom. The gothra(lineage) of the girl is transferred to the gothra of the groom. The groom gives Pudava (9 yards Silk Saree) to girl.

This time groom performs prayers with Taali/Minnu/Mangalsutra (Sacred necklace). The elders bless the taali.

Maangalya Dhaaranam/Muhurtham

Muhurtham refers to tying the taali (sacred thread as it means) around bride's neck. The muhurtham of our wedding is between 8AM and 9AM.

The groom ties the first two knots of the taali around the bride's neck (while she is sitting on her father's lap). The groom's sister ties the third knot.

Saptapadi

Saptapadi constitutes the chief element of the marriage. The groom holds the bride's right hand with his right, his shawl is tied to her pudava, and they go around the sacred fire seven times. 

He takes hold of the right foot of the bride and makes her take seven consecutive steps where the bride touches her feet to a grinding stone (ammi). This symbolizes that their union be as stoic (unaffected by pleasure or pain), solid and steadfast as stone. 

While taking each step, groom has to recite a Vedic verse (mantra) which means:

First Step - " let Vishnu follow thee in the first step for plenty in food".

second step - "let Vishnu follow thee in the second step for strength."

third step - "let Vishnu follow thee in the third step for religious vow".

fourth step - "let Vishnu follow thee in the fourth step for the attainment for happiness".

Fifth Step - "let Vishnu follow thee in the fifth step for cattle welfare",

Sixth Step - "let Vishnu follow thee in the sixth step for good seasons."

Seventh Step - "let Vishnu follow thee in the seventh step for observance of the Somayaga and other sacrifices".

The groom holds her right toe and puts metti (toe rings). She also looks to the star Arundhathi star (Orion constellation) which symbolizes faithfulness and traditional valuing. (Note: The Orion constellation/Saptharishi as called are seven sages from which the Vedic tradition is being rooted to. Arundhathi Darshanam is the showing of the Saptha Rishi Mandala and the small star Arundhathi underneath the star of Vashistha. It is the Darshan of these Great Sages will remind the couple the heritage they have to carry and the Debt of the sages to be performed.)

This completes the marriage ceremony.

Nalangu - wedding games

Nalangu is a tradition that dates back to times when marriages used to occur at a younger age (early teens). This component was incorporated to keep the mood light-hearted and fun for the newly wed young teens. It has stayed on as an integral component of South Indian weddings. For teens this is a way to make the couples nearer to each other; to get away with their shyness and get accustomed to each other.

Traditional games include the newly-weds plays with coconut/flower rolled as ball, breaking papadums over each other's heads and so on and so forth. It is an interesting component of the wedding ceremonies.